Today’s reading for the weekend gives me a strong psychological theme. It’s about two men that have had a heavy impact on my life. The Clouds card represents my father but is also known to sometimes represent two men and with the Gentleman card also present, it most definitely does. It’s not father-son but the age difference is that of father-son.
The psychological theme tying these two men together is the Tower, which is a card of authority. My father is obviously the ultimate male authority figure in my life. I never accepted his authority for any other reason than out of fear – a karmic issue which was resolved in the past week. Throughout my life, the fear issue resulted in striving to always find ‘safe’ partners where authority wasn’t an issue… I simply wasn’t ready to deal with those third chakra issues… until I met my Aries ex and had to face them full on.
The tower is also a card of distance and isolation – another major theme in my relationship with both these men. Again, the motivating factor is fear.
What Garden+Ring is telling me is that with the passing of my father drawing near (he even looks like he’s walking out of the picture to the far left) and the attendant absolution of all past issues that we achieved, any corresponding issues around male authority, isolation and withholding are also being cleared. Progress is being made (Garden+Ring). This row of five is a snapshot of psychological advancement in no uncertain terms.
Once you begin to see through the third chakra fear issues and projections, there is very little room left for drama. Any time anyone tries to pull you back in, you instantly recognise the dynamic and simply refuse to go there. How these issues interlink has been proven to me on a group dynamic level over the past couple of weeks too. On a personal level, entering into a co-dependent dynamic is now completely impossible for me and when it comes to group dynamics, I have no time at all for drama, politics power-/rumour-mongering.
These very important lessons, I couldn’t have learned without these two men. Like I said to my father on the phone the other day, ‘It hasn’t been easy…’ but it was well worth it in the end.
Physically, these huge emotional issues clearing for me is creating a ‘healing crisis’ as my body is letting go of all the tension it has held for so very long. At this time, I need to be gentle with myself.
Wisdom that comes via the mind takes time to filter down to the physical level and it needs to be reinforced daily to help with realignment on a cellular level. I hope it filters down in time because right now, it feels a little like I’m dying myself… When I used to work in a hospital, I remember that one of the doctors told me that when the elderly mother of a middle-aged son died, the son often followed not long after – I think I understand why now on a deeper level.