Today’s reading for the weekend gives me a strong psychological theme. It’s about two men that have had a heavy impact on my life. The Clouds card represents my father but is also known to sometimes represent two men and with the Gentleman card also present, it most definitely does. It’s not father-son but the age difference is that of father-son.
The psychological theme tying these two men together is the Tower, which is a card of authority. My father is obviously the ultimate male authority figure in my life. I never accepted his authority for any other reason than out of fear – a karmic issue which was resolved in the past week. Throughout my life, the fear issue resulted in striving to always find ‘safe’ partners where authority wasn’t an issue… I simply wasn’t ready to deal with those third chakra issues… until I met my Aries ex and had to face them full on.
The tower is also a card of distance and isolation – another major theme in my relationship with both these men. Again, the motivating factor is fear.
What Garden+Ring is telling me is that with the passing of my father drawing near (he even looks like he’s walking out of the picture to the far left) and the attendant absolution of all past issues that we achieved, any corresponding issues around male authority, isolation and withholding are also being cleared. Progress is being made (Garden+Ring). This row of five is a snapshot of psychological advancement in no uncertain terms.
Once you begin to see through the third chakra fear issues and projections, there is very little room left for drama. Any time anyone tries to pull you back in, you instantly recognise the dynamic and simply refuse to go there. How these issues interlink has been proven to me on a group dynamic level over the past couple of weeks too. On a personal level, entering into a co-dependent dynamic is now completely impossible for me and when it comes to group dynamics, I have no time at all for drama, politics power-/rumour-mongering.
These very important lessons, I couldn’t have learned without these two men. Like I said to my father on the phone the other day, ‘It hasn’t been easy…’ but it was well worth it in the end.
Physically, these huge emotional issues clearing for me is creating a ‘healing crisis’ as my body is letting go of all the tension it has held for so very long. At this time, I need to be gentle with myself.
Wisdom that comes via the mind takes time to filter down to the physical level and it needs to be reinforced daily to help with realignment on a cellular level. I hope it filters down in time because right now, it feels a little like I’m dying myself… When I used to work in a hospital, I remember that one of the doctors told me that when the elderly mother of a middle-aged son died, the son often followed not long after – I think I understand why now on a deeper level.
Blessings,
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Hi Lisa
Reading this brought back memories of my own difficult relationship with my father who passed away in April last year. I too
spent much of my childhood and teenage years struggling with feelings of and fear and guilt. During his last years my relationship with him was almost non-existant. Due to circumstances, there was never the opportunity to say goodbye. Although I don’t
miss him, I often wonder if he had any regrets.
I recently began the slow and often painful process of healing my “inner child” through meditation which has helped me immensely.
Kind Blessings
Sallyx
Hi Sally, Thanks for sharing. Did you pray for your dad after his passing? I have been guided by Spirit to do this for other members of family as well as friends in the past. I believe it helps on both sides of the veil, so to speak. Blessings, Lisa x
Hi Lisa
Yes, I did pray and still do- and yes it does help the healing process and my decision to forgive.
Sallyx
Wow, Lisa. What a perfect time for me to read some of this as some of the issues I had with my father also resurfaced to allow recognition, wisdom and healing this year. We had also had a tumultuous relationship where I was never shown affection or praise; when all I wanted was love, I was instead subject to verbal abuse and put downs. When he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I started to meet men who were just like him and one particular soul connection that mirrored this disempowerment and taught me deep lessons. As I became more intuitively aware, I recognised the karmic pattern spanning lives I could recall, all of which kept me in the same position (in one lifetime, locked in a cell due to his betrayal). In this lifetime, losing him before his time allowed me to deal with these issues early on and start to step into the power I had lost in the dynamic in a very big way (though the pain was unbearable at times). I too have come to deter from co-dependency and group ‘role play’ due to a growing sense of power, as all of these situations are orchestrated to lead back to self-empowerment.
Sending you lots of love right now. I have walked the grief path too many times already but every time it has shaken me to the core and allowed me to incorporate more of my unconscious world and brought me back to my truth and an awareness of the meanings I created around ‘loss,’ including where I felt it emotionally and physically. At this time, may you and your family be blessed with an abundance of love energy. Thinking of you and thank you for sharing such powerful thoughts to heal others.
Thank you for sharing your story of grief, insight, healing and empowerment. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this. Thank you for your healing thoughts and much love to you!
Thanks, Lisa. I knew there was a reason why I loved and resonated with your posts and your page so much, your ideas and insight as somebody who has shared some similar experiences are a blessing to me and gift me another puzzle piece